New site being worked on.

**Update** Caught up with the first few stories on the facebook page. I can see the final stretch!

 

It’s going to be a week till everything is back in action. I’ll share on the facebook page when everything is up and running.

I think I should probably explain a bit on why this will take so long. Essentially my previous host (Webs) had no backups whatsoever, and when questions about adding backups I was told to “Use Google Cache pages and copy from them if your site is lost or information is lost.”

They assumed that I’d have every single page of my site indexed by Google and could recover using Google instead of ANY actual backup method provided through them. This was pretty lame.

So, long and short of it is I made an offline copy of my entire site and now I’m in the process of adding them to this new host and making sure the links are the same so that any links people made, and the links from the facebook page, still work. This means every permalink has to follow webs terrible permalink naming convention, but that’s the price I pay for using such a terrible service first and for so long.

When then site is finally updated I will pickup from where I left off and continue to add new stories, including those currently submitted to me and waiting to be added.

 

-CaptainZM

Deadlands Stories Part 3 – A Mime is a Terrible Thing…

So the mime huckster continued to stick around in the campaign.  Her stats were obnoxious, and she had this enormous dalmatian named “Spot Run” that also did his share of monster killing, but she was also certifiably insane (and not because of any failed Guts checks either!).  Be that as it may, she was often the only character who would bite at plot hooks, while the rest of the party ran and hid from them.

One day, I decided to have a little fun with her.

In Deadlands, there are these monsters called Prairie ticks — enormous ticks that force their way down your throat and start sucking blood like crazy till they burst forth a few days later.  So I came up with a variant prairie tick that caused a few other symptoms.  First of all, since the victim had a tick in their throat, they couldn’t speak.  Due to the loss of blood, they had deathly pale faces.  And they weren’t thinking none too clearly either.

So the party arrives in town and there’s all these white-faced people making gestures, and for a bit, the mime felt like she was among friends.  At least until the people started dying and the prairie ticks hopped out of their corpses.  At this point the group decided they had to find a way to stop this “disease that was turning people into mimes”.

For about half the evening, they kept phrasing it exactly in that manner, but finally the party’s Mad Scientist spoke it slightly differently.  “We need to stop this Mime Disease-”

A chorus of groans poured forth, and I had things thrown at me.  That was my one and only adventure centered around a pun.

 

By: EvilKat

Deadlands Stories Part 2 – Black Joker

The mime and the party’s harrowed (undead) huckster vied for ‘craziest character’ in the campaign, although the injun “Dances with Peyote” had a brief run at the title when he stole a steam wagon and crashed it into a hotel.

The Harrowed Huckster was famous for pulling the black joker on his spellcasts and causing just the wrong thing to happen.  One time he was trying to summon a lit lantern from his pocket with a spell and pulled the black joker.  What he pulled forth was lit… but it sure weren’t no lantern.  I rolled 3d20 for damage, but he lucked out and survived (I rolled a 1, 1, 2 – talk about defective dynamite).

On another occasion, the Harrowed Huckster had been swallowed by a Mojave Rattler and decided he was going to shadowwalk out of the giant worm.  He cast his hex, drew his cards, and sho’ nuff, there was his old buddy the Black Joker.  Instead of shadow walking out of the rattler, he pulled the party’s gunslinger in with him.  Figuring on going out with a bang, he decided to light some dynamite.  Somehow he managed to blow the rattler to kingdom come and keep himself and the gunslinger alive…

I should probably tell you about the time he became harrowed.  He fell off a zeppelin and hit the ground with a splat.  Now, when a Deadlands hero dies, you get to draw a card or three to determine whether or not he comes back Harrowed.  You guessed it!  The Black Joker made a showing and the Huckster returned from the grave.

We don’t talk about the time the manitou took control and dumped all the gunslinger’s ammo in the alleyway… and she forgot to buy more before getting in the next gunfight…

 

By: EvilKat

Deadlands Stories Part 1 – Never You Mimed

I had just started a Deadlands campaign when one of my players was in a minor car accident and temporarily lost the ability to speak.  Like a true trooper they showed up at gaming anyway (albeit hopped up on vicodin), and we quickly put together a retooled character that didn’t involve a speaking role:  a mime with huckster-like powers, Hucksters being the main spellcaster type in Deadlands.

We decided that instead of spawning cards spontaneously, her powers would activate via mime-esque actions. Putting her thumb and forefinger into a gun-gesture fired off Soul Blast, and so forth, though the actual success mechanics were the same as a standard Huckster.

When the player showed up the next week, they looked at the character sheet, recognized their handwriting, and had no recollection of the character whatsoever. Up until seeing the character sheet, the player thought the entire gaming group was just pulling her leg about having played a mime.

 

By: EvilKat

Idiot Ten

It helps if, when you write your character’s information down, you write in handwriting that you can read later.  For this particular campaign (and I forget what system it was), we wrote our characters down on basic lined paper rather than using printed character sheets.  As a result, our stats and attacks were a little disorganized.

About two sessions in to the campaign, one of the players was getting frustrated.  “Why does it say idiot ten on my character sheet?” lamented the elf’s player.

“Idiot Ten?  Where does it say that?” asked the GM.

The GM read over her shoulder as she pointed to the offending words.

“That says 1d10+10.”

 

By: EvilKat

Up In Smoke

I had been running an undead-heavy D&D campaign.  The PCs were all about fifth level, and the dwarven cleric had been having a field day with turning and destroying undead, making short work of most encounters.

But not this time.  This time I had sent a horde of zombies after them at night.  These were ordinary zombies,  but they were zombies that were bolstered heavily against turning by a brain-in-a-jar that was hovering far up above the battlefield where the players would have difficulty seeing it.  Confident in my ability to make this a longer and more memorable combat than in previous sessions, I described the mass of zombies shuffling through the dark towards the exposed PCs.  We rolled initiative, and I sat there smirking at the cleric.  The party’s wizard went first, and his words were, “I cast fireball.”

So much for my horde of zombies.

 

By: EvilKat

Meet Al

I used to play DnD with an interesting group of guys who were best described as ‘DnD jocks’ (nerd wasn’t really an applicable term here), and over our colossal two-year campaign, we had a lot of funny stories, some of which I might later share. But for today, I just wanna tell you about Al. Al was an interesting guy- most groups have a ‘That Guy’, but in a group of ‘That Guy’s, Al stood out. Thing is, he was a fairly laid back, innocuous hippie-ish sorta fella, and no-one really clocked him for the terrifying man he was when he first arrived to the group.

So the first time Al turned up, we were about level 9, and infiltrating an enemy encampment to get intel on the otherworldly army being assembled. Al gets given a particularly disliked half-orc rogue to play, cause it saved us the bother of killing him off (the previous guy had left last week.) Anyway, we’re trying to get into the high security zone, when someone points out that despite having uniforms, we need an officer, and none of us has one of those uniforms. Al volunteers to go get one, and, being the only guy specced for stealth, we let him wander off alone.

Mistake.

So Al asks the DM where the officer’s tents are, and decides to sneak into one. The DM rolls and lets Al know that he’s wandered into an occupied tent, asking him what he want to do. Al decided to seduce the officer (our game ended up pretty gay at points.) He rolls a 15 or so, and after a bit of thought on the DM’s part, the following exchange occurs:

“Alright, Al, you’ve managed to just about seduce the Officer. He’s interested, but you’re gonna be taking, not giving.”

“…Intimidate check.”

The room falls silent. We all look over at this guy who only turned up this week, and wonder what we’ve let ourselves in for.

“Oh, I rolled a 20. That means I succeed, right?”

“…uh… yeah, I guess…”

“Ok, then I roll a strength check. I’m gonna kill him with a donkey punch.”

It was at this point that the DM got up and left to wash his hands, whilst the rest of us, one by one, realized with dawning terror that Al had mentioned he was a happily married father.

 

By: Nikolai

Retrieval

We started a campaign, finding ourselves in a city that was completely controlled by shifters. The city was broken into factions of different shifter races and smack in the middle of all of it was a human strong hold. We made camp in the one section of the town that was controlled by level-headed bear-people. Here they accepted everyone of all races because it was the port of the city so they were able to trade, unlike the other savage clans deeper within.

When we heard about the black market hidden within the human area of the town and our rogue (halfling), being shady as he was, could not resist the temptation. The humans in this world of ours, however, are extremely racist against everything non-human. So, the rogue decides to sneak in and makes it past the guards quite easily. He wanders around the city, passing as a child with his hair covering his ears, for many hours. Back in the port we slowly start to realize that someone is missing and that there is no chance that he is up to anything good. So I, an Avenger (Githzerai), decide to go out and find where he went.

After searching for some time I came upon the entrance to the human city. Putting on a turban I had acquired some time ago I approached the guards. After rolling many checks to bluff my way past them, I convince them that a small child has escaped from prison and caused a plague to disorient the skin color of many human officers. Somehow I am lucky enough with my rolls to make it past. After entering the city I immediately get directions towards the black market. Here the story goes into two directions.

Our rogue finds himself wandering into a magic shop while looking for interesting things to buy or to steal. After trading words with the shop keeper for some time he learns that the merchant is also a poacher. He has many different animal furs and valuable animal based products hidden in the back of the shop. When the rogue enters the back he finds the man has LIVE tiger cubs in cages. He immediately purchases one and leaves the store.

I on the other hand found myself wandering into an apothecary store. upon inspecting all of the fine wares that he has to offer I decide to taste some of the mushrooms. This turns out to be a very bad decision on my parts because they were highly hallucinogenic. I start going out of my mind and am instantly thrown out of the store when I don’t pay the man for what I took.

Now we are both trapped inside a racist human city, and neither of us are humans. After wondering how to escape with a tiger and wandering the streets for several more hours (we have been gone for nearly 2 days) the rogue runs into me, still out of my mind on the streets with people looking fearful at whatever I have been doing. Then, inspiration hits, I am able to spit out my excuse for being in the city to the rogue before I go insane again. He quickly grabs a rope from his bag, ties one end around his neck and the other around my hand, then proceeds to the exit of the city. The guards, upon seeing this, congratulate and thank me for capturing the criminal and let me go on my way with my “prisoner”.

After all of this we gained a new companion, I gained an addiction to drugs, and we never spoke of this day again. We left the port on a boat as soon as we could and we never looked back.

 

By: Submitted

Frost Giants, Idiots, and Harpies, Oh My!

Alright, so my group and I had our very first session the other day.

We were running an upgraded version of the Sunless Citadel, and before we started we all rolled for knowledge on what was wrong with the town.

The Knight and Paladin roll okay, so do I and the ranger.

The Cleric managed to get a natural 1 on it and becomes convinced that the town is under assault by a two-headed frost giant. The mage rolls slightly higher and thinks it’s Harpies.

Now, he gets into town and runs into the deputy. He asks about the frost giant problem, and our DM has him roll diplomacy to see what the deputy thinks of him, since it’s not a bluff as he’s not purposefully lying.

The cleric rolls a natural twenty.

I’m over in the tavern and all I hear off in the distance is “FROOOOOOST GIANTS. RUN. RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIVES!”

 

By: Submitted

Bayneon the Benevolent Bard and the Kobolds

Our party was hired to “deal with a Kobold problem” near a town. While Bayneon was distracting the guards outside the cave entrance the party discovered that the cave system was the home to thousands of Kobolds.

Fighters, sorcerers, a shaman, and women and children. Now, normally this wouldn’t phase an adventuring party, but Bayneon is called “The Benevolent Bard” for a reason. So after convincing the group to handle things diplomatically, we were introduced to the military leader of the kobolds.

After one party member let it slip that the nearby village was recently raided and almost empty… way to go Virgil… they decided to attack it and take it over. We ran ahead to warn the village, which was now full of zombies, so we had the brilliant idea to warn the kobold army.

After Bayneon blew up the local tavern, killing 40 zombies, by igniting the alcohol, we returned with the kobold army to their cave. There, Bayneon quickly gained the admiration of the kobolds with his storytelling. Meanwhile, the rest of the party learned that the kobolds consider themselves expendable because the shaman leader oppresses them. Bayneon, being Bayneon, convinced the kobolds that they are NOT expendable.

Over the next two days, and against the advice of the party, Bayneon managed to stage a coup against the shaman leader. The shaman leader came out to face the crowd. The shaman’s Intimidate check of 23 was tied with Bayneon’s Perform (Oratory) check of 23. After several minutes, the rest of the party FINALLY decided to support Bayneon.

Their assistance to his Perform managed to tip the scales enough for the kobolds to attack and kill the shaman. Bayneon put the military leader in charge and the party gained a new, and powerful ally.

Note to reader: We’re still level 2. Bayneon doesn’t even have Suggestion yet!!!

 

By: Tuck3r

DnD And Role Playing Stories