I was using my first-ever character, a Half-Orc Barbarian named “Sam-R-I” and also nicknamed “Cuddles”. Anyways, my most funny/improbably moment came when the party faced a room with a treasure chest.

The room was loaded with traps, as the PC who stepped on spike-trapped floor found out (I believe it was our ranger). There were also lots of suspiciously arrow-sized holes in the wall a few inches from the floor.

My character, being obsessive about personal hygiene had bought several bars of soap while we were in town. So I slid a bar of soap on the floor towards the treasure chest on my turn. The soap activated the arrow traps on the floor panels, and ended up being pierced several times.

Thankfully, the arrow traps were just a one time thing, and my party was able to get to the chest and recover the treasure within.

Another fun DnD moment (later in that campaign) I went into a room to get some treasure. The druid was near the entrance, and the wizard and ranger were 5 or 6 squares from the druid. I went to open the chest, which had a LOT of gold (30000 gp!). However as soon as I took the gold, a stone door slammed down where the entrance was, trapping me in the room.

And water started filling the room.

The wizard and ranger were unable to do anything, and the druid was stumped. About 3 rounds later, and after a few Swim checks (good thing the dice favored me, I had half-plate on at the time.  The druid decided to use “Soften Earth and Stone” on the door, which quickly became mud. The room was full of water, so the other party members got hit with a surge of water and mud. The druid got hit by the mud, the water, and my Half-Orc Barbarian. I’m glad she didn’t die.




…In the early seventies, Ed Whitchurch ran “his game,” and one of the participants was Eric Sorenson. Eric plays something like a computer. When he games he methodically considers each possibility before choosing his preferred option. If given time, he will invariably pick the optimal solution. It has been known to take weeks. He is otherwise, in all respects, a superior gamer.

Eric was playing a Neutral Paladin in Ed’s game. He was on some lord’s lands when the following exchange occurred:

ED: You see a well-groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.

ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?

ED: (Pause) It’s white, Eric.

ERIC: How far away is it?

ED: About 50 yards.

ERIC: How big is it?

ED: (Pause) It’s about 30 ft across, 15 ft high, with a pointed top.

ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.

ED: It’s not good, Eric. It’s a gazebo.

ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it.

ED: It won’t answer. It’s a gazebo.

ERIC: (Pause) I sheath my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?

ED: No, Eric, it’s a gazebo!

ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (roll to hit). What happened?

ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.

ERIC: (Pause) Wasn’t it wounded?


ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a +3 arrow!

ED: It’s a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don’t know why anybody would even try. It’s a @#$%!! gazebo!

ERIC: (Long pause. He has no axe or fire spells.) I run away.

ED: (Thoroughly frustrated) It’s too late. You’ve awakened the gazebo. It catches you and eats you.

ERIC: (Reaching for his dice) Maybe I’ll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my Paladin.

At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a modicum of order by explaining to Eric what a gazebo is. Thus ends the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo. It could have been worse; at least the gazebo wasn’t on a grassy gnoll.


By: Richard Aronson